Level 1: Approximately 3 to 6 years The child recognizes that games and activities cannot happen unless there is an element of turn taking but there is an egocentric or simple conceptualization of friendship in terms of defining a friend as someone who gives you things or someone you play with. Friendship is based on proximity and physical attributes and when asked Why is _____ your friend? The typical response is He lives next door!
Level 2 : Approximately 6 to 9 years There is an increasing understanding of the concepts of reciprocity and mutual rather than one-way assistance. The likes and dislikes of the other person are more likely to be considered with friendship based on how closely each friend matches their self interest, for example, in liking similar games. There is also a new awareness of the motives, thoughts and feelings of others. When asked
Why is _____ your friend? the typical response is He lets me play the games I want to, Because she comes to my party and I go to hers or She's nice to me.
Level 3 : Approximately 9 to 13 years The child is more aware of other peoples opinions of them and how their words and actions affect the feelings of others. They are more careful in what they say and do because it may be hurtful to someone. Friendship can be based on shared experience or common interests and helping becomes more valued than simply playing together. There is a greater selectivity in choosing friends, a gender split and a greater durability in the relationship. There is increased value placed on personal attributes such as trust, loyalty and keeping rather than breaking promises. When asked Why is _____ your friend, the typical response is He sticks up for me and helps me with my maths homework, She enjoys doing the things I like to do or I can talk to them and they listen.
Exerpt Taken from: Understanding and Teaching Friendship Skills Tony Attwood and Carol Gray